It's hard to watch a B-movie with a straight face. Every other word is a bad cliche or one-liner, the gore is too fake too enjoy, and the plot is borderline nonexistent. So why do we flock to theaters and movie warehouses to watch or rent these cheesy box-office rejects? Simple: They're damn enjoyable to watch.
I've spent more than half my life watching the best (and especially the worst) cinema has to offer. I've seen the Living Dead anthology many times, as well as the Return of the Dead spinoffs and remakes. I've seen the Carnisaur trilogy, Manos: Hands of Fate?, and most of the movies seen only on sci-fi at three in the morning. I've rented and bought dozens of B and C movies that only existed out of a sick twist of fate. And yes, I have seen most of Uwe Boll's "films."
I do it because I enjoy bad films. It's not that I have bad taste (and that's not just self promotion, my collection outshines Blockbuster) I just happen to enjoy films that have no suitable reason to exist. I view them with friends and, much like the trio on Myster Science Theater 3000, make fun of every spoiled aspect.
I would love to only watch fine filmmaking, sticking to the Se7ens and Mementos out there, but where would this blog be then? In the gutter, cursing its pathetic transience. So I am going to do what no one else seems ready for:
I am going to watch bad movies, so you don't have to.

Welcome to B-Movie Review.
(the "B" is for "wow that really sucks")

Adam K