Monday, September 11, 2006

Best Vacation Ever: Cabin Fever

I often find movies hard to describe.

It's like trying to write about your first sandwich after not eating for a few days. No one else can understand the bliss you felt at that moment, and no sandwich tastes as good.

So I will try to convey my feelings toward "Cabin Fever", but bear with me if I start to ramble.

Let's begin by introducing the star of this wonderment: Ryder Strong, from "Boy Meets World".


I just think his parents have a sense of humor. I guess Banger Gently was already taken.

I digress. This movie begins with a group of friends heading out to a cabin for a little vacation. They want to hunt, fish, sit by a fire, and have meaningless sex with people they care little about.

You know, like any other high school kid you know.

They stumble upon a vagrant who has some sort of eat-yo-face disease. It is, of couse, very contageous, and soon one of the group contracts the freaky illness.

Now, I don't want to give too much away, as the script is, without a doubt, the most brilliant drivel ever written. I mean, there is a sequence called "Pancakes" for crying out loud.

Ian Roth, of "Hostel" fame, directs this cult classic with the flare of....someone who has never directed before.

Shots are still on for most of the movie, though the lighting with a flashlight quality.

The humor is apparent, and no one takes themself too seriously. Each character is right out of "Deliverance", spouting lines with thick, over-the-top southern accents.

I watched this movie with a group of friends who also revel in the B realm. We laughed, we cried, and we learned a little about ourselves and each other. By the time the credits rolled down the screen, we were changed men.

I think this movie takes the "B is for bad" mentality and runs with it. If you enjoy cliches, puns, and dialogue that is in itself a joke, you will enjoy "Cabin Fever."

There is no proper rating for this film. In fact, I can only give it a review that fits its most powerful scene.

Sexual actions with no sexual body parts involved.

Now I must go tend to my wicked craving for pancakes.

And waffles.

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